4x07: The Ballad of Crazy Tim - Let's Not Meet

[00:00:03] My name is Andrew Tate and this is season 4 episode 7 of Let's Not Meet a true horror podcast I was camping in the middle of nowhere in Washington Like not an official campground just way out in the forest where I wouldn't have expected another human for miles

[00:00:32] One night I wake up and hear something. I opened my tent and There's a guy Sitting by where my fire had been right outside my tent nothing, particularly noteworthy about the guy just a Fairly regular looking dude. Just sitting there a couple of feet from the tent

[00:00:53] No bag or pack or anything with him just a guy He saw me open the tent His eyes got huge like he had just seen a ghost And he took off It shook me up pretty badly

[00:01:09] But over the next day I managed to put it out of my mind Fairly well after writing it off as just some odd occurrence and a guy that was probably high or something And had somehow managed to set up a camp coincidentally not far from mine

[00:01:26] Then two days after that and 10 to 15 miles away in a totally random direction that nobody would normally take Even on accident I was sitting by the fire that night and started hearing noises That I got more and more convinced were a person. I

[00:01:44] Called out to them and out of the darkness someone said Do you know how to get to Bells Canyon? I? Said no, I don't even think that's a real place They kept talking from just out of my line of vision I Tried to see them with my flashlight

[00:02:08] but they yelled aim that away and Kind of spooked and not wanting to piss off a potentially crazy person. I did After about 15 minutes of me being very freaked out and them talking and asking Completely random questions from the darkness it sounded like the voice had gotten closer

[00:02:29] so I shown my light that way again and It was the same dude who had been outside my tent two nights before He had to have followed me almost 15 miles over two days because there is no way

[00:02:44] He could have just accidentally wound up at the same spot as vast as that wilderness is No possible way As soon as my light hit him he took off again. I

[00:02:57] Started to chase him but didn't want to get lost in the wilderness in the dark. So I stopped quickly after probably a hundred to two hundred feet This one couldn't be written off because the only way he could have been in both places

[00:03:15] specifically is if he were following me I Decided the trip was over the first thing in the morning and hiked back out over three days constantly doubling back

[00:03:26] Trying to throw anyone following me off my trail and occasionally hiding and waiting to see if he would come by following me I really can't describe how terrifying it was. I felt like I was being hunted through the woods and

[00:03:42] To actually have to brainstorm things that I could do to best avoid potentially being murdered on the first night of hiking out Twice I heard what sounded like a person walking in circles outside my tent

[00:03:56] But by the time I mustered the courage to go look nobody was there on the second night I heard what I thought was an animal making noises at first in the distance But slowly decided it sounded more like a human making animal calls

[00:04:12] But could have actually been an animal, but I didn't actually see the guy again But it did really sound like a person making howling noises I Literally almost cried when I finally got back to my car. The relief was so strong to this day

[00:04:32] It's probably the most terrifying experience I've ever had I have no idea who the guy was or what his intentions were in no way of getting an explanation But I really can't articulate Just what a terrifying few days it really was a

[00:05:01] Few years back. I had just moved into a new condo with one of my longtime friends It was a cozy little place a very party and drama free zone for the most part which suited me just fine

[00:05:15] While we were moving in we met the previous tenants a very sweet older woman and her son Who was maybe a few years older than I was She explained that they used to live in the condo before us, but had just recently moved out

[00:05:31] Since they had saved up enough money to buy their own place across the way from us all in all She seemed like a very sweet older woman and the son henceforth. I'll refer to as Tim seemed nice enough He was incredibly quiet didn't say a word

[00:05:48] Wouldn't make eye contact with us, but I just figured he was a shy introverted type Maybe a month or so into our stay I ran into Tim while I was getting my mail and he looked noticeably worse than the last time I saw him

[00:06:05] To the point that I barely recognized him He looked like he had lost about 20 pounds Had scratch marks all over his neck shaved his head completely and was more jumpy and fidgety I Had exchanged a few pleasantries with him when he suddenly dumped his whole story

[00:06:25] About how he and his girlfriend had broken up onto me He explained that he had wanted to move in with her get married and start a family But how his girlfriend was reluctant to do so He went on for at least five minutes complaining about

[00:06:41] Anything and everything about his relationship and going into way too much detail for my liking Meanwhile, I'm just standing there nodding along holding my mail and wondering when he's going to stop eventually, he wraps up and

[00:06:57] Thanks me for listening. He had been holding it in for so long He tells me how beautiful I am. I Thought it was kind of weird at the time but brushed it off as him just being socially awkward It wasn't long after that When the visits started happening

[00:07:16] At least once a week. He would knock at our door Asking if he could look around for something that he was sure he had to have forgotten to grab when they were moving out

[00:07:28] He would never find anything, of course, and it was pretty obvious that he was just coming over to try to see me Since he would just kind of linger around Trying to make conversation It was kind of cute at first and I didn't really pay it much mind

[00:07:43] Since I thought he was just going through a rough time That he was just lonely looking for some kind of connection. I Thought it was a harmless little crush and that it would fizzle out in time once he realized that I wasn't interested

[00:08:00] This went on for a week or two and his visits became more frequent and his attempts at Flirting became more blatant. He actually asked me out several times With me doing my best to let him down gently each time

[00:08:17] Eventually, I got tired of it all and asked him to stop coming by but that only led him to Coincidentally run into me every other day to make matters worse He was now starting to leave poetry taped to my door

[00:08:31] Which my roommate found to be hilarious at first until they started to go further off the deep end They had started off as typical mushy poetry, but eventually they started turning into quasi religious nonsensical rants That would be pages long

[00:08:48] mostly talking about how he was an angel or some other kind of divine being I Had gone to the security team and the police several times but neither one seemed to care at all that much Since he had apparently done nothing illegal

[00:09:04] However, the security team said they would talk to him Fast forward a few weeks and it's summertime My roommate was gone on vacation with her family and I've got the whole apartment to myself for two weeks To make matters

[00:09:21] Better. I haven't seen or received any new letters from Tim I'm lounging in my room when I hear someone knocking at the door But by the time I got up to check nobody was there

[00:09:33] I'm getting ready to go back to my room when I hear a loud and strange sound coming from the balcony Which is connected to my room via the window it sounded like something was being ripped or snapped off and

[00:09:48] About a second or two later. I heard the sound of something or someone heavy hitting the floor of my room. I Immediately ran out the front door running as fast as I could to the security office

[00:10:01] To make a long story slightly shorter the police eventually came down and pulled Tim out of my room Apparently what happened was he tried using his old apartment key on the door But he didn't know that the locks had been changed when he and his mom moved out

[00:10:21] When I didn't answer the door fast enough when he knocked he somehow managed to climb up 15 feet onto the balcony Rip off the screen from my window It easily managed to slip in since I had the window open to get some fresh air

[00:10:39] He was completely naked when they found him and apparently high as a kite on mushrooms he told the police that I was a reincarnation of Mary and in order for Jesus Christ to be reborn and Save the world. I would need to have his child

[00:10:57] I moved out the next day and never looked back It didn't exactly go over great with my roommate or the landlord, but I just couldn't stay there after that I'm a 33 year old female I Live at a funeral home owned and run by my dad

[00:11:28] I live in the apartment upstairs and do some side work for my dad, but I don't work the funeral home Since I live there though I tend to interact with a lot of people who are here for funeral related things and whatnot

[00:11:45] I represent my dad when I'm speaking to someone here. So I'm always nice and helpful I've had a couple of crazy people that I've dealt with but nothing like this This was probably in mid-march sometime because it was right around the beginning of the whole COVID thing

[00:12:01] I had gone to pick up some food for my family around 6 p.m And I believe it was a Saturday and unless there's a service the employees are usually gone

[00:12:11] So I pull into the parking lot and as I park a car drives by going towards the entrance side It was a dark SUV There are so many people who work here who have similar cars that I couldn't see from that far

[00:12:28] Who it was but I gave it a quick wave thinking that it was someone that I knew bad idea The car stops and the guy gets out

[00:12:38] Like I said, I'm used to having to help people and tell them where they can drop things off or pick things up, etc So the guy gets out and comes towards the car. I

[00:12:51] Rolled my window down just a little expecting to say hello and tell him that no one is working he comes right over to my window and starts leaning in and peering into my car Which was a red flag already It was very invasive

[00:13:09] I'm glad my doors were locked and I only put my window down a little bit So this guy basically had his head in my car Really creeped me out. But before anything else his eyes are what really scared me

[00:13:24] He was very very pale with bright red hair and his eyes were literally The craziest and scariest eyes I've ever seen It was chilling. I don't know if he was on drugs or just crazy, but I'm already uncomfortable at this point

[00:13:45] He starts to talk to me and ask me if I work here blah blah blah I tell him no one is working. Please call tomorrow in the morning and you can speak to someone. I Thought that that would be it not even close

[00:14:01] This man came to bring an application to my father to work at the funeral home He was apparently in IT or something, but had studied embalming and also volunteered for the Red Cross He was talking a mile a minute and I was so incredibly uncomfortable

[00:14:19] But even more so when he started telling me about certain embalming techniques that he studied including hanging cadavers by their feet and other insane sick stuff He absolutely had no experience in embalming though

[00:14:36] He cornered me in the car for about 15 minutes and just rambled. I told him several times. Just please call tomorrow morning I really can't help you So now I'm sitting here in my car with this insane man outside my car and I also had food in my seat

[00:14:53] Well, he was looking into my car and he saw it you would think he would take the hint At some point I texted my husband and said come outside now Thank God. He actually saw my text and came out

[00:15:08] He goes up to the guy and he says can I help you? So the guy starts cornering my husband as well The guy had absolutely no idea what personal space was and my husband kept backing up But he would move closer every time. I

[00:15:26] Took an opportunity to grab the food and get out since he was outside When I got out, he started telling my husband and I The virus is going around and there are gonna be bodies piling up They're gonna need extra help here when there are hundreds of bodies

[00:15:46] dead bodies It almost seemed like he was excited at the thought He had a resume and I told him multiple times to please bring it by later I didn't even want to touch the thing that he had But he forced it into my husband's hands. I

[00:16:07] Went to the stairs and gave my husband a concerned look and motioned for him to come in This guy made me so extremely nervous and I didn't want my husband there any longer

[00:16:18] But this guy was almost impossible to walk away from he did not understand that it was done So eventually we got away from this freak and got inside I immediately called my dad to explain what happened and warned him of this guy

[00:16:33] I told my dad I had never felt so uncomfortable in my life and there was something seriously wrong with this dude. I wanted to warn that he would probably be back the next day and He came back a couple of days later mid-morning up upstairs in my apartment

[00:16:50] And there are several employees in the office upstairs. I Hear someone ring the doorbell once twice then three times He then proceeded to ring it non-stop for 15 minutes They assumed that it was him and didn't answer. I went out thinking what the fuck is wrong with the doorbell

[00:17:11] they knew it was him apparently because he had called earlier and wanted to talk to my dad and One of the employees told him that we aren't hiring but he insisted on talking to my dad. So he came by

[00:17:23] Then after the doorbell went off for several minutes the phone started ringing off the hook Next he was going around to all the windows and pounding on them relentlessly. I

[00:17:35] Told them how crazy he was, but I was glad that they could now see what I meant and that I wasn't overreacting Eventually, my older brother went down with a mask on like I said, this was right at the beginning of quarantine and

[00:17:51] People weren't wearing masks regularly, but this guy had no boundaries He then cornered my brother the same way and would not let him leave or in the conversation We were all just thinking what the fuck is going on with this guy

[00:18:10] My dad did not want to talk to him, but he wouldn't give up Well the next day he comes back again Same thing banging on the windows and ringing the bell calling incessantly

[00:18:22] Eventually my dad's secretary answered the phone and put him in his place and told him that if he ever called again They would call the cops The best part is every time he showed up. He showed up in full top-to-bottom biker gear spandex helmet knee pads

[00:18:42] Even though he lived just a few streets over This guy was absolutely nuts I'm so thankful that he has not come back Psycho eyed biker dude, let's not ever meet again for the sake of the story. I don't recall every word of my conversation

[00:19:14] It was 15 years ago. So I'll do my best to recreate them and help the story flow based on what I do remember I was about 19 when I was offered a job by my cousin to work at her uncle's glass business

[00:19:28] They installed giant glass windows and tall buildings and skyscrapers Not that it's too relevant to the story The catch to the job was I had to temporarily move to Destin, Florida from Tampa My cousin lived up in Russellville, Alabama

[00:19:44] And I wanted to go visit my family there and leave with them together to go back down to Destin This was my first long-distance road trip and my first trip away from my immediate family

[00:19:56] Back then I was driving a puke green mercury sable a car barely capable of getting groceries back home But in my invincible youth, I didn't care about that I just was so pumped to be spreading my wings and getting out into the world

[00:20:14] That the risks didn't concern me My mom and dad tried to get me to plan and pack better knowing the trip could have pitfalls But it wasn't like the trip was going to take days and fast food exists

[00:20:27] So I wasn't stressing about that. And I mean, I'm not stupid I packed for the trip and staying for a few months in Destin, but they wanted me to bring food water emergency supplies, etc I declined because it wasn't the late 1930s

[00:20:42] And of course there are gas stations at every exit and I had a razor flip phone at the time My thinking was what could possibly happen? On two busy interstates. It wasn't like I was going off to some far-off country with no cell service

[00:20:58] Anyway, fast forward to the trip. I'm a Florida boy I had no idea Alabama could get so cold and I had no idea the heat was broken in my car I had never used it at first. I'm thankful because by the time that I reach Alabama

[00:21:15] I'm tired as hell and I had made a lot more stops than I anticipated I still had a few hours to go and the cold air was actually keeping me awake Finally, I pull off the interstate and start heading through these smaller numbered roads

[00:21:31] The roads didn't have conventional names like they do in Florida. They were just numbered which I found odd After driving on those a bit I started being sent down gravel roads This was the days of MapQuest

[00:21:46] So I didn't have a GPS guiding me through paved roads or rerouting me around roadblocks I was starting to get hungry and thought back to my parents telling me to pack food

[00:21:57] I should have listened. The sketchiest thing with MapQuest was that you just printed out all the directions You didn't have a map to fall back on So going out of your way to find fast food at an exit came with the potential of legitimately getting lost So I

[00:22:16] Passed a few signs telling me to turn off for food because I was tired and didn't want to chance it Instead I was looking for something off the side of the road that I could easily pull in and pull back out of with no fuss and

[00:22:31] More importantly no risk of getting lost My prayers were answered a little down the road when I saw a beat-up old country store on my right hand side It didn't even have a name. It just said grocery across the front of the white building

[00:22:47] I pulled in because the light shining across the grocery sign was on But I found it odd that most of the lights inside were off This gave me the creeps just a little But it didn't stop me from going up to the door. I was starving and

[00:23:05] Maybe this place was 24 hours I saw a shadow move across the back of the long aisles as I approached the glass door and Surprisingly it opened with ease at this point I half expected them to be closed due to the lack of lighting inside and

[00:23:23] Hoped an owner would take pity on a tired traveler and let me grab some snacks. I called out Hello No one answered. I Said something along the lines of I saw you when I pulled up and I was hoping you're still open Again no one answered

[00:23:44] Now this was probably naive of me, but I assumed that the owner was older and couldn't hear me There was this constant buzzing sound coming from the back Maybe he was deaf So I went further back into the store

[00:23:59] Honestly, it didn't smell great inside and I hoped they at least had some chips or something At least those are sealed Suddenly a man emerges from the back I'm so sorry. We were just about to close. Can I help you? He asked with the smile

[00:24:18] He nearly made me jump out of my skin at first He seemed friendly enough though Not the old guy that I was picturing but actually a younger guy maybe in his 30s

[00:24:29] Yeah, I came up from Florida. It's been a long drive. I was hoping you guys had something to eat for the trip We have plenty. What exactly are you looking for? He said

[00:24:42] Without taking his eyes off of me. The guy had a weird unblinking stare that put me on edge But what made me the most uncomfortable was his smile he smiled big but his eyes never moved as

[00:24:56] In the only way you could tell he was conveying any emotion was to look at his mouth The rest of his face just stayed the same

[00:25:05] Most people you can tell that they're smiling even when their mouth was covered because when you smile your whole face moves, but not this guy Just some chips maybe a coke do you have any Doritos I ask Of course, he said walking past me

[00:25:24] He locked the door behind me before turning and smiling Don't want anyone else walking in He chuckled Him-locking the door was creepy, but I shrugged it off because the reasoning was sound even though it felt off

[00:25:42] Follow me. The guy said as he walked towards the back of the store I was young But I should have been smart enough to know that Store owners generally don't give their customers a tour of the store

[00:25:56] But I had lived a pretty sheltered life. I could feel that something was off though. I Still didn't want to offend by asking questions like What's that smell?

[00:26:07] We get to the back of the store to where those plastic flaps hang that separate the customer side in the back end When the man sticks his hand right through parting the plastic and says Right this way Now alarm bells are starting to go off in my head

[00:26:26] especially as he starts looking around and past me like Someone who is selling drugs and watching out for the police Back there I ask and start to back up a little bit That's when I notice chips beside me in the aisle

[00:26:45] The guy noticed me seeing the chips and says yeah back here We've got our good stuff in the back. You can come take your pick By this time I found the source of the buzzing Flies They were flying all over the meat section and the dim light

[00:27:05] Reflecting off of the packaging lets me know that it's been sitting there for a while I'll just take this if that's alright I say nervously as I grab the bag off of the shelf next to me and start backing up towards the door

[00:27:22] Trust me. Those are no good. I have way better stuff in the back He smiles gesturing for me to come back I Fake padding my pockets and say ha ha man. I forgot my wallet in the car be right back As soon as those words left my lips

[00:27:45] I spun around and did a light jog to the front increasing with speed as I approached the door. I Make it to the door and twist the lock a couple of times until I hear it click. I

[00:27:57] Push the door open and turn back to look at where the man is, but he's gone. I Jumped back into my car and spit out of the parking lot. I didn't stop again until I reached my cousin's house

[00:28:27] Thank you for listening to this week's episode of let's not meet a true horror podcast this week You have heard a strange man hunted me through a national park by reddit user valerian Jedi the ballad of crazy Tim by reddit user the Blair Witch

[00:28:44] crazy eyed wannabe and bomber by reddit user the corner of Gray Street and finally small town grocery store by reddit user der ferp derp deed herp Nailed it all of the stories You've heard this week were narrated and produced with the permission of their respective authors

[00:29:02] If you'd like to hear your story on the show Email me at let's not meet stories at gmail.com If you'd like to gain access to bonus material head over to patreon.com

[00:29:12] Forward slash let's not meet podcast and I quickly want to thank the patron of the week Carissa Snyder for supporting me since June of 2018. I really do appreciate you as Always I'll see you all next week for a brand new episode of let's not